If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
how does that bad decision feel?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
