i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
