you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
