I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
