the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
