Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
