So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
