She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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