Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
