just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
