she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This is the high leading the old right now
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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