The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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