how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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