I wish I could punch you in the face.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
