oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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