thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My dick has a subreddit
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
