Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
