2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
