My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
