i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
