I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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