i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
