When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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