Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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