Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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