Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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