are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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