I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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