Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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