Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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