His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
