All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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