I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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