i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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