Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
