im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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