cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im holly from the hills drunk
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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