I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
