i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
