Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
