I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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