Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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