she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
