I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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