There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Drunk is not a location!
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