I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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