His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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