still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
These tits shall not be calmed
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
