so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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