So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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