Say something about gay babies.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
