I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
