Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
