i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
