Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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