Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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