i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
someone owes me an orgasm
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
