I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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