Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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