you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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